Beth Williamson / Emma Lang » Blog

Lighten the day

Beth Williamson — Tue, 21 May 2013 19:10:06 +0000

I thought a fun post would lighten the day for everyone. My favorite? Abdicate. I think I’ve done that…

The Washington Post published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Monday Eye Candy

Beth Williamson — Mon, 20 May 2013 10:00:59 +0000

Today’s eye candy for your viewing pleasure.

Writing cave and lots of work

Beth Williamson — Wed, 15 May 2013 11:29:44 +0000

I’m still alive, I swear, but I’m in the writing cave. Still have 10K to write and lots of work to do in my real life. I won’t be online much for a few more days.

Keep the fires burning and the drinks cold!

Monday eye candy

Beth Williamson — Mon, 13 May 2013 10:14:32 +0000

Today’s eye candy for your viewing pleasure.

Contest winners!!

Beth Williamson — Tue, 07 May 2013 13:17:27 +0000

Thank you to everyone who played by RT “At Home” Contest! Without further ado, here are the winners…

*drum roll please*

Christina McCutcheon – A $15 Amazon gift card
kimmyl – An ARC of Circle Eight: Vaughn (delivered in June via ebook)
Jane – Download of choice from my backlist
Debbie Koziel – RT bag of swag

Congratulations all!

*I am in recovery mode, but I’ll be back online and running on all thrusters soon!

Monday Eye Candy

Beth Williamson — Mon, 06 May 2013 10:14:08 +0000

Today’s eye candy for your viewing pleasure.

Play the RT “At Home” Contest!

Beth Williamson — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 10:00:57 +0000

Howdy y’all! While I’m away in Kansas City, I am running an RT “At Home” Contest.

All you have to do is tell me your favorite western (movie, book, song, whatever) and you’re entered. Easy, peasy!

What do you win?

Good things!

- RT bag of swag

- Download of choice from my backlist

- An ARC of Circle Eight: Vaughn (delivered in June via ebook)

- A $15 Amazon gift card

Ready, set, go!

Monday Eye Candy

Beth Williamson — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 10:00:07 +0000

Today’s eye candy for your viewing pleasure.

RT “at home” contest

Beth Williamson — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 10:30:33 +0000

Hey y’all! I’ll be at the RT Booklovers Convention in Kansas City next week but I’m not leaving out you folks who aren’t able to come. Nope, I’m having an “at home” contest on my blog!

Starting Tuesday, April 30, I’ll have a blog post up for the contest. All you have to do is comment and you’re entered. Easy, peasy!

What do you win?

Good things!

- RT bag of swag

- Download of choice from my backlist

- An ARC of Circle Eight: Vaughn (delivered in June via ebook)

- A $15 Amazon gift card

Whatcha think? I hope y’all come by and play while I’m in KC! I’ll be checking each day!

Cover Reveal!

Beth Williamson — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 22:16:56 +0000

Hey Malloy series fans! Cover reveal for THE FORTUNE, John & Francesca’s story coming 9/2013. This is the prequel you’ve all been waiting for – how the Malloy clan got its start…