I got these from the Wicked Writers Loop – hilarious!

Paraprosdokian Sentences

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø There’s a fine line between cuddling, and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Paraprosdokian
A paraprosdokian (from Greek “παρα-”, meaning “beyond” and “προσδοκ?α”, meaning “expectation”) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

I’ve been invited, along with some other fabulous Raleigh-area authors, to participate in the Durham Regional Library Romance Tea – exciting stuff! The library coordinator sent me the flyer – I hope some of you who are local can make it October 24!

Emma scored a contract, and now it’s Beth’s turn. As an update to y’all who have been waiting, I just got the contract offer from Samhain to publish Gideon’s story.

Thank you to my wonderful beta reader, Rhian, who helped me make Gideon’s story shine.

Thank you to my amazing editor, Sasha Knight, who has made me a better writer.

And a thank you to all you patient readers waiting for the rest of the Devils on Horseback books to be written and published!

Yeehaw!

Today’s eye candy for your viewing pleasure.

Okay, I’m so glad it’s Friday. I have had a hellacious week at work with barely time to even eat. My brain is so tired right now I really want a nap. LOL.

I have to get everything ready for a neighborhood yard sale next Friday, so I’ll be in the storage and closets yanking out all the miscellaneous crap we never use. Send me strength y’all!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Our heat is supposed to break Sunday so things are looking up.

It truly is summer again y’all. I guess this is what they call “Indian summer” (not entirely sure why) since it’s heat after the fall equinox. All I know is, it’s 73 at 6:30 this morning, which is summer weather. And it’s going to be 96 today. Ugh.

Onto happier things… I’m starting on my new series for Kensington (yay!) and Matthew is the first Graham to have his story told. Oh boy, oh boy, let me tell you, it’s kind of like having a 75% off coupon at your favorite store and you’re the only shopper. Gives you shivers, doesn’t it? That’s what it’s like to see an eight book series and know you are the architect behind their journeys ahead. Very exhilarating.

Matthew is the practical, cautious oldest sibling. He’s thrust into a situation not of his doing and he makes a choice that’s going to change the course of his life. What choice? Why to lie to the government. Totally innocent lie of course, but he’s well and truly trapped by it. Now what? He’s got to make that lie into a reality, and therefore, Annie comes into his life whether she wants to or not.

I love, love, love the beginning of a book, and especially a series. I’ve got that coupon in my hand and the doors are opening. Yeehaw!

This is me hoping I can ignore the fact it will be 93 today. C’mon cooler temps!

Today is the last day of summer, 2010, unbelievable as that is to me. This year has gone by at lightning speed and I think that’s due in part to my ankle surgery in early January. I was out of commission for months because of it. Feel like I got gipped a bit there .

However, I also got an ankle that’s super strong and I push aside the memories of the surgery and the subsequent healing process. Oh, and the shower seat, ugh, felt like I was 90!

So the rest of year whizzed by, lived through my older DS’s graduation (sniff, sniff) and the most brutal summer heat I ever remember. Now I’ve survived my younger DS starting high school (sniff, sniff), the RWA conference and RAW (although that wasn’t surviving, it rocked!).

I look at the calendar and holy crap, tomorrow is the first day of fall!! I know people who have started Christmas shopping, people. Christmas??? I need to get through the next few weeks, hell, the next few days first.

Sometimes I feel like people wish time away, including myself, without realizing how precious it actually is. I look at my kids, my very tall kids, and think, I remember when they used to hold my hand crossing the streets, or when they’d let me pick out their clothes. There are so many memories I want to savor, but life goes at a hundred miles an hour and I forget to remember.

Hm, all that from realizing it’s the first day of fall tomorrow. Of course, it will be 93 degrees here. Not very fall-like!

Well, onward, right? I’m going to finish my WIP by next weekend, and try to enjoy the nice “fall” weather.

Today’s eye candy for your viewing pleasure.

I’m pleased to announce that Emma Lang has a new two-book contract with Kensington Brava! I’ll be embarking on a new series called ‘The Circle Eight’ about the Graham family in 1836 Texas. It’s a new time period for me so I will need to be diligent about all my historical details.

The Grahams are a family I hope y’all come to love as much as the Malloys. It’s a family of 8 children (thus the circle eight part) of four boys and four girls. The first book begins with tragedy, and the children have to hang onto and build their ranch alone.

Book one will be ‘Matthew’ – he is the oldest at 22 and leads the rest of his siblings, although ‘leading’ might be a strong term. They certainly resist the reins he tries to put on them – they are a very spirited bunch. ;)

I don’t have release dates yet but I’ll let you know when I do. Now I’ve really got to finish my WIP so I can get crackin’ on Matthew’s story. Yeehaw!!